I had a really tough moment yesterday. I was literally at the point where I was questioning why I even keep trying. Why I bothered signing up for and attempting to train for another half marathon. Why I don’t just pick an easier, less physically taxing hobby.

Actually if I’m being honest all week felt that way to a degree. But I thought I just needed to back off a little bit. But it all cumulated together with the physical and emotional demands of work, trying to keep up with my responsibilities in regards to our house, pets, and everything else.

I got my flu shot on Friday which did make me feel a little bit more tired, achy, and my arm was pretty sore for a few days. Then yesterday my husband sprayed bug spray in our house (in asthmatic and don’t do well with ANY kind of aerosols) so that was just the icing on the cake. On top of everything else my lungs were very unhappy.

So I didn’t think I was going to accomplish the 10 mile long run I had planned for Saturday, but I was hoping I’d at least make it 7 or 8. But nope. I barely made it 1 mile. Which lead me to my whole existential crisis.

I decided to not even attempt to run today and just took the rest day that my training plan called for. Not like it’s actually a rest day though because I did have to work. So that brings my mileage for the week to a whopping 4.5 miles…That’s kinda disheartening because last week I hit 17.5 miles for the week and up until this week I actually felt like my half training was going really well.

At this point I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do. I think I’m going to continue to attempt to stick to my training plan, I’m a little over half way through with it anyway, and then I’ll still attempt this virtual half. But after all of that is said and done I think I’m going to have to be done with longer races for a while. Which is incredibly frustrating because really half marathons aren’t even that long (obviously that’s all relative but to this seasoned half marathoner it really isn’t that long), but I think I’m just at a point in my life where my body can’t physically handle the demands of work, keeping up with every day life, and half marathon training. I really just feel broken down and exhausted all of the time…

So, maybe it’s just best to stick with 5k’s and 10k’s after this half marathon. I’m already signed up for a couple of virtual 5k’s anyway! 😊 I do miss IRL racing though, but I do talk a little bit about why I’m not doing any in person races anytime soon in this post.

Anyway, I don’t know what else to say except that life is hard and this year has sucked horribly. And it seems like everyone has had a really rough go at things this year. But we’ll keep moving forward. It’s really all we can do.

Happy Sunday everyone! Here’s to a new week and a new start!

~Ashley

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